WRECKED RED NECKS

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See the heads pop out from swamps and then you see some other ones
Looks like this is really it, fraternities are gonna come

They got thighs so big them freaks can’t walk
And heads of huge red necks
How much time have we got left?
Sneakers place your bets

Red necks coming, there’s a muscle man a gettin’ yer, ladies watch your mouths
Here come dodo squish leg with his firm amd matey louts down south

They got thighs so big them freaks can’t walk
And heads of huge red necks
How much time have we got left?
Sneakers place your bets

Hold on to your wigs

Bowery boys ain’t got no voice, bowery boys old English joy
Pick me up at the Bowery, carry me off to Tomkins Square

They got thighs so big them freaks can’t walk
And heads of huge red necks
How much time have we got left?
Sneakers place your bets

Red necks!


MISS KISS

I brought her a drink, gave her a kiss, forgot her name, called her Miss
Oh yeah, yeah, ye yeah yeah, do be do do, didda bow bow bow, do be do do

I got back home, folks were in bed, said ain’t it great then she dropped down dead
Oh yeah, yeah, ye yeah yeah, do be do do, didda bow bow bow, do be do do

Sat in a chair, watched her rot, said I ain’t going, ‘cause she’s all I got
Oh yeah, yeah, ye yeah yeah, do be do do, didda bow bow bow, do be do do

But now things are getting better (BETA)
Each and every day is filled with joy
And there’s one thing I’m really sure off
There ain’t no way she’ll get another boy

Well she don’t smoke, she don’t drink
She don’t take drugs and she can’t think
Oh yeah, yeah, ye yeah yeah, do be do do, didda bow bow bow, do be do do
She’s the girl on who I depend, she’s my bird and she’s my friend
Oh yeah, yeah, ye yeah yeah, do be do do, didda bow bow bow, do be do do

But now things are getting better (BETA)
Each and every day is filled with thrills
We roll in the hay till the sun comes up each morning
And she never has to take the pill


PETE'S PARAKEET

My mate Pete, he’s got a parakeet and it follows him wherever he may be
Well some say she’s fat, I say she ought to wear a hat
And a big one with a brim down to her knees

She has trouble walking, I never hear her talking about
Anything but a happy pair they make
I saw her sleeping, me mates thought I was peeping
I was in there with a mallet and a stake

My mate Pete, he never sleeps, he’s glorious, victorious
My mate Pete, he’s the blackest sheep, he’s ruthless toothless


GOIN' HOME

We used to watch on television all that they did show
And sometimes in the Winter we'd go sledging in the snow
Mum and Dad would argue about how to cook the roast
My brother never spoke to me, when I wore his coat

We'd lie around smoking 20 good-night fags till late
We'd play old songs, have sing-a-longs, while jeering up our mates
We used to watch on television all that they did show
Once a fortnight we'd sign on, down the ol' King Cole

But those were the days when we were living with our folks
There was fire, food and fags and beer and beds
But now those days have gone, well things just ain't the same
We're on the beaten track
We've got things to do and friends to make
I wish they'd take us back

We used to watch on television all that they did show
And sometimes in the Winter we'd go sledging in the snow
Mum and Dad would argue about how to cook the roast
My brother never spoke to me, when I wore his coat


GMO

Life has got its boundaries, like the town in which you live you see
GMO, GMO, GMO-a-go-go
Like the prize you won on the orienteer hike, so strong so fast,
Didn’t even have a bike

‘Cause A I wanna tell yer
And B you ought to know
xxxxx And the muddy po, after the rain
xxxxx The murk you could see, what your life would contain
The spitfire’s flying in the September breeze
To win, you’ve got to use a strategy

La la, la-la-la etc.

GMO GMO GMO GMO

In your bed at night with the RAF noises
Once again Churchill fought them on the beaches
GMO, GMO, GMO-a-go-go
One night Gray, high above the trees
A joy-stick quivering between your knees

‘Cause A I wanna tell yer
And B you ought to know
You grew up faster than the rest
Right from the start you were one of the best
And when the day comes to fly into the blue
It’ll be me and you Gray, me and you!

La la, la-la-la etc.

GMO GMO GMO GMO

Oh, oh, oh, oh etc.

Oh Gray, can’t you see us flying through the trees

‘Cause A I wanna tell yer
And B you ought to know
You grew up faster than the rest
Right from the start you were one of the best
And when the day comes to fly into the blue
Me and you Gray, me and you!

La la, la-la-la etc.

GMO!


CAPTAIN COD

1 2 3 4

The drummer’s far too fat, he can’t keep in time with us
The drummer’s far too fat, he can’t keep in time with us
Drum away, drum away, drum away Cod
The drummer’s far too fat, he can’t keep in time with us

You fat one!

Squeeze in at the edge, the drummer tries another bluff
The drummer’s far too fat, the lifeboat just ain’t big enough

Drum away, drum away, drum away Cod
The drummer’s far too fat, he can’t keep in time with us

We got street credibility, in fact we got too much
Stick my fingers down my throat, show the contents of my guts
But what did we have to say, to get you out the bleedin’ way

Ah ah, ah ah

Nobody wants to know us, so the porkers keep on saying
The peacepunks in the corner never tire from complaining
But what did we have to do, to get on Whicker’s talkie show

Ah ah, ah ah

When I saw you on St. Mark’s Place, with your John Lennon glasses
Hey ho, let’s go
When I saw by the pizza parlour, me and you Joey can’t get much further
Hey ho, let’s go

We got street credibility, in fact we got too much
Stick my fingers down my throat, show the contents of my guts
But what did we have to say, to get you out the bleedin’ way

Ah ah, ah ah, ah ah ah ah


POMPEY STOMPEY

When I'm cold, and when I'm hungry
I think of home, think of Pompey
Before I'm old, with a Max Wall haircut
I shall return, and find the pubs shut

And our Mums, like all the others
Boiled fat, for our dinners
On the bus downtown, Dr Marten's gave us blisters

I want to meet jug-ears in the North End Wimpy
(Play up Pompey, Pompey play up)
Watch the school girls in their frocks so skimpy
(Play up Pompey, Play up)
Walk the streets until the sun comes up
(Play up Pompey, Pompey play up)
And we'll all go down the pub and get Nev to fill 'em up
(Play up Pompey, Play up)

We use to hide from, all the hard nuts
Now they're clerks, they've all got beer guts
Outside Cantoys, that's where the kids at
Like Paul Weller, he's old and fat now

And it's PFC, old Portsmouth you're the only place, the place for me,
By far the greatest city that the world has ever seen
(over the first verse)

I want to meet jug-ears in the North End Wimpy
(Play up Pompey, Pompey play up)
Watch the school girls in their frocks so skimpy
(Play up Pompey, Play up)
Walk the streets until the sun comes up
(Play up Pompey, Pompey play up)
And we'll all go down the pub and get Nev to fill 'em up
(Play up Pompey, Play up)

Play up Pompey, Pompey play up...


PIDGE AIN'T IN

Pidge, are you in? No, I'm out

Pidge ain't in he's gone out (I'm out)
Pidge ain't in he's gone out
(I'm out)
Pidge ain't in he's gone out (I'm out)
He's gone out (I'm out) gone out (I'm out)
He's gone out

I was young and loved, by a girl I had known
She longed for the day when she could call me her own
And all sorts of excuses, I used to make
When she'd hang around me everyday

And in the evening, she'd knock on my door
I'd say go away, don't want to see you no more
I'd say, 'go away, or in trouble I'll get'
But she made a vow she'd get Pidge yet

Pidge ain't in he's gone out (I'm out)
Pidge ain't in he's gone out
(I'm out)
Pidge ain't in he's gone out (slipped out)
He's gone out (passed on) gone out (I'm out)
He's gone out

Ba-ba-ba...

He's gone out, he's gone out

Pidge ain't in he's gone out (take it Dan)
Pidge ain't in he's gone out
(get out)
Pidge ain't in he's gone out
He's gone out (I'm out) gone out (I'm out)
He's gone out

So I hid from her everyday, decided it was the only way
Till she discovered my den, she said, Pete...
Hid from her everyday, decided it was the only way
Till she discovered my den, she said
'Pidge I want to bear your children'

Pidge ain't in he's gone out (I'm out)
Pidge ain't in he's gone out
(get it up)
Pidge ain't in he's gone out (get it in)
He's gone out (get it out) gone out (out out)
He's gone out


ROLF

You’re the one with the big brown eyes
You’re the one that makes me sigh
Look at you with your beard and specs
I know it’s wrong but what the heck

(Wuckawucka, wuckawucka, wuckawucka woo)

Rolf, Rolf, you better tie me down sport
Or I’ll play with your digeridoo
Rolf, Rolf, you better tie me down sport
Or I’ll play with your digeridoo

You see the sunrise come up in the morning
You said the red sky was a shepherd’s warning
xxxxxxx
xxxxxxx

Rolf, Rolf, you make me feel like Jake the Peg
Rolf, Rolf, with his extra leg
Rolf, Rolf, you make me feel like Jake the Peg
Rolf, Rolf, with his extra leg

Now you’re gone, I see your faults
Did a quick march and I did a quick waltz
Take me wallabies back Jack
Tie me kangeroo down sport

Tie me kangeroo down sport
Tie me kangeroo down
Tie me kangeroo down sport
Tie me kangeroo down
Take me wallabies back Jack
Take me wallabies back Jack
They live somewhere down on the track
Take me wallabies back

Tan me hide when I’m dean Fred
Tan me hide when I’m dead
So I tanned his hide when he died, fried
And that’s it hangin’ on the shelf

Tie me kangeroo down sport
Tie me kangeroo down
Tie me kangeroo down sport
Tie me kangeroo down
Let me abbos go loose Lou
Let me abbos go loose
There of no further use Lou,
Oh let me abbos go loose
Tie me kangeroo down sport
Tie me kangeroo down
Tie me kangeroo down sport
Tie me kangeroo down


YICKETY HEY

Woken in the morning with a toe-cap in the stomach
And excreted from my sleeping bag, a Vulcan on the go
A cider and a vino and another capuccino
And I stagger to the toilet it’s a Vulcan on the go

Hey hey, yickety hey
Hey hey, yickety hey
We’re all in white, play all night, feeling all right
We’re all in white, play all night, feeling all right

We played the Riviera, with our hair-a-gettin’ fairer
And the froggies didn’t care, so The Vulcans said go
And then we went to Italy, to try to ease our misery
Then we sung a different song, a Vulcan on the go

Hey hey, yickety hey
Hey hey, yickety hey
We’re all in white, play all night, feeling all right
We’re all in white, play all night, feeling all right

Hey! Hey! Over they go!
Hey! Hey! Over they go!

Hey hey, yickety hey
Hey hey, yickety hey
We’re all in white, play all night, feeling all right
We’re all in white, play all night, feeling all right

HEY!


ATILLA THE HUN

I get fed up, from time to time
With the people I know, but I’m glad they’re still mine
All along across the mountain range, poor old village, wish we’d stayed at home
Pick up your axe and start swing your sword
Get to the tower, there’s no time to be bored
We’re gotta fight against the very devil
If we don’t win, it’s back to the shovel

Attila the Hun, come on, come on
Attila the Hun, come on, come on,
The war can still be won, the war can still be won

This is only the beginning, can’t stop now ‘cause we’re just winning
Got energy passing through our veins, don’t mind getting out the way
xxxxxxxxxxx, xxxxxxxxxxmake no mistake
This time Attila, he ain’t gonna run,
Come on, come on, the war can still be won

Attila the Hun, come on, come on
Attila the Hun, come on, come on,
The war can still be won, the war can still be won

Attila the Hun, come on, come on
Attila the Hun, come on, come on,
The war can still be won, the war can still be won
Oi!


MIKHAIL'S TALE


Well, just the other day, I heard old Mikhail say
I must pop off and bring a crusty cough
And leave a cardboard Gorbachev

Now Mikhail had a secret love, that made him hide away
He’d often clasp her, in Alaska, all that live long day

Now Nancy was his maiden fair, with natural no floss hair
It was a joy, she had another boy and she was his despair

Bonnie Ronnie rode down from the mountain glen
With bugles blarring he was tearing, cross the tundra then
When he arrived, our Nanc she cried and Yuri ran away
That red and yellow, nasty fellow, Ronnie made him pay

Well, just the other day, I heard old Mikhail say
I must pop off and bring a xxxxxx
And leave a cardboard Gorbachev

Now Nancy was his maiden fair, with natural no floss hair
It was a joy, she had another boy and she was his despair

Bonnie Ronnie rode down from the mountain glen
With bugles blarring he was tearing, cross the tundra then
When he arrived, our Nanc she cried and Yuri ran away
That red and yellow, nasty fellow, Ronnie made him pay



All songs ©The Vulcans 2002
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